Ok, so I haven't written on this blog in awhile because I'm busy enough with everything else. I have a blog for work, so I don't always feel like updating this one. I have a lot on my mind, so here it is.....
I am really starting to think seriously about moving away from the lake. I have been thinking about it off and on, but haven't thought much about it in the last 2 years. Mainly because I was settling in my house and was in a relationship, but now I'm starting to have other thoughts. I have so many great friends in the St. Louis area, my family is closer, and I would be closer to my parents.
There are 3 main things keeping me here:
1. it would be really difficult to sell my house without losing money
2. I love my job
3. it's comfortable to stay here (although moving new places has never scared me, I moved to Tennessee only knowing 1 person and moved here knowing no one)
I am happy here for the time being, but I really feel like there are more opportunities if I move away from here. I was thinking of a new plan for the next 3-5 years and I love planning, so it makes me kind of excited :)
Next 3-5 years:
1. Because I was rejected from the other two PhD programs at Mizzou, I am going to apply for the EdD program in Educational Leadership that would start next summer. I didn't apply for this one originally because it's more intense than a regular program. But, I would finish up sooner, which is a good thing. The 75% waiver that we get helps, I can't see why I wouldn't want to further my education with that assistance.
2. Wait for someone to retire from MU Extension (or quit) so I can hopefully transfer to their job, preferably in St. Louis or St. Charles (St. Charles would be ideal). That way I could still finish up school if necessary.
3. Buy a house that I really love and settle down in that location.
Here are some of my other exciting plans: (exciting to me, maybe not to anyone else)
1. Attend at least 2 Mizzou games this fall (I would love to go to the MU vs. IL game in STL, I'm working on it)
2. Have fun on my work trip to Portland, Maine in September. I will be there mostly for work but I do want to go on the ferry and see the ocean from there.
3. Hopefully go on the Mediterranean diet study in Italy next summer. It's a work thing and I'm hoping it will get approved because I think it would be awesome!
4. Go to a Univ of Alabama football game. This plan is in the works and looks like it could happen. I love SEC football and would love to go. If not this year, then definitely next year.
That's all for now, my thoughts are somewhat jumbled but that's ok.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Update - ski trip
Ok, so if you read through my old stories, most of them are just funny memories or funny stories. For the future, I would like to keep this blog updated, but that may not happen as well as I would like.
I just got back from a ski trip to Breckenridge, CO with Rance and his mom, Leann. I had never been skiing before and had only been to Colorado once when I was a baby, so I was excited. Rance has been skiing since he was 12 and Leann has been since she was in her 20's, so they really enjoy it.
The mountains are beautiful. Pictures cannot convey how pretty everything is, you have to see it in person. The house we stayed in was equally beautiful. The house belongs to Rance's family friends who are gracious to let their friends stay there when they go to Breckenridge.
We arrived late on Sunday evening, after about 13 hours in the car and driving through snow/ice just past Denver. Monday was a day of rest and acclimating to the 9,000 ft elevation. It's 11,000 ft on some parts of the mountain. We also looked at skis for Rance and Leann, bought some ski pants for me, and rented my skis/boots. Those boots are not comfortable!
My first day was exciting. After getting bundled up and learning to walk in those boots and riding in the gondola (it got better each day, but the height thing still scares me!), I had my first day of ski school. I learned so much in the morning session and actually skied down a bunny hill that afternoon. I learned how to get on and off a ski lift and started to overcome my extreme fear of heights. I fell a few times, but nothing major. By the end of the day, I felt pretty confident in skiing and was anxious to practice more. The runs look a lot more intimidating, but aren't as bad once you start going (at least they did the first day!).
The second day started with some major soreness after Day 1, but I was ready to practice my skills. I wiped out right at the bat and then wiped out once again and didn't think I was going to get up. Getting up on snow/ice with skis is NOT easy at all. Leann and Rance helped me down the trail and I decided to go back to the easier hills to practice. I fell again a few times and managed to get up, but I have to take at least one of my skis off to get up. Today's practice helped me feel better and I managed to ski all the way down the mountain (slowly) instead of taking the gondola back down. It was more fun to ski down anyway.
The third day we tried out a different peak of the mountain, peak 9. I had only been on peak 8 the first two days. I really liked the runs on this peak, there were lots of fun greens (easy) and some fun blues (intermediate). Of course, I have to go slow on the blues and sometimes I feel like I am just sliding instead of actually skiing. I didn't fall today and we skiied all the way down on the 4 O'Clock run again, but this time I went a little faster.
The last day of skiing was the most challenging for me. We started on peak 9 again, on some harder runs and I was a little scared. There were some really steep hills and I felt like I was sliding again but I made it slowly. We went back to peak 8 for a little bit, then on to peak 7, which is all intermediate runs. That was a mistake. Some of the hills were REALLY steep and I got really scared. I was in tears and hyperventilating because I thought for sure I was going to fall and someone would run into me or run me over. People were just flying by me all around! I slide part of the way down on one hill because I was scared. When I thought I had made it to the bottom and the hard stuff was over, we had to go back up to get back over to peak 8 where I would be more comfortable. The way back to peak 8 was just as hard and I was super scared again. My legs were so sore and tired and trying to get down the steep hills were very tough for me. I almost ran over a squirrel on my skis (it ran out in front of me) but I got to go on 3 lifts that I hadn't been on yet, so I got to see more of the mountain. We also skiied down the mountain again and my legs were so tired at this point that I didn't think I could ski another day if I wanted to.
I am proud of myself for learning something new and challenging myself (especially on those intermediate runs). I still need a lot of practice though. I am also proud of myself for not falling while getting on or off the ski lifts. I also overcame some of my fear of heights and got more used to the ski lifts and gondola rides. Next time I need to point my skis more downhill and not get so scared when I go a little fast because I do know how to stop. The scariest thing is when you are going up the ski lift, you realize that you have to get down somehow and that would be by skiing. The longer the ski lift is, the more scared I get when I look at some of the runs. I get very intimidated by the steep runs and hills. I am also proud that I did some tree trails, usually just going around one or a few trees, but at least I had control.
Skiing is an incredible workout. We skiied from about 9:30a to 4:00p with time to eat lunch in between. I had to stop and rest a lot because my legs were sore. I had never felt so tired and so sore than after skiing.
The drive back was long, but I got to sleep and ride as a passenger. I'm so glad that Rance and Leann invited me to go skiing with them and share in their family tradition. I can tell they love skiing and hopefully someday I can be a lot better and keep up with them sometimes. It was so kind of them to include me, help me, and ski with me as I was learning.
I just got back from a ski trip to Breckenridge, CO with Rance and his mom, Leann. I had never been skiing before and had only been to Colorado once when I was a baby, so I was excited. Rance has been skiing since he was 12 and Leann has been since she was in her 20's, so they really enjoy it.
The mountains are beautiful. Pictures cannot convey how pretty everything is, you have to see it in person. The house we stayed in was equally beautiful. The house belongs to Rance's family friends who are gracious to let their friends stay there when they go to Breckenridge.
We arrived late on Sunday evening, after about 13 hours in the car and driving through snow/ice just past Denver. Monday was a day of rest and acclimating to the 9,000 ft elevation. It's 11,000 ft on some parts of the mountain. We also looked at skis for Rance and Leann, bought some ski pants for me, and rented my skis/boots. Those boots are not comfortable!
My first day was exciting. After getting bundled up and learning to walk in those boots and riding in the gondola (it got better each day, but the height thing still scares me!), I had my first day of ski school. I learned so much in the morning session and actually skied down a bunny hill that afternoon. I learned how to get on and off a ski lift and started to overcome my extreme fear of heights. I fell a few times, but nothing major. By the end of the day, I felt pretty confident in skiing and was anxious to practice more. The runs look a lot more intimidating, but aren't as bad once you start going (at least they did the first day!).
The second day started with some major soreness after Day 1, but I was ready to practice my skills. I wiped out right at the bat and then wiped out once again and didn't think I was going to get up. Getting up on snow/ice with skis is NOT easy at all. Leann and Rance helped me down the trail and I decided to go back to the easier hills to practice. I fell again a few times and managed to get up, but I have to take at least one of my skis off to get up. Today's practice helped me feel better and I managed to ski all the way down the mountain (slowly) instead of taking the gondola back down. It was more fun to ski down anyway.
The third day we tried out a different peak of the mountain, peak 9. I had only been on peak 8 the first two days. I really liked the runs on this peak, there were lots of fun greens (easy) and some fun blues (intermediate). Of course, I have to go slow on the blues and sometimes I feel like I am just sliding instead of actually skiing. I didn't fall today and we skiied all the way down on the 4 O'Clock run again, but this time I went a little faster.
The last day of skiing was the most challenging for me. We started on peak 9 again, on some harder runs and I was a little scared. There were some really steep hills and I felt like I was sliding again but I made it slowly. We went back to peak 8 for a little bit, then on to peak 7, which is all intermediate runs. That was a mistake. Some of the hills were REALLY steep and I got really scared. I was in tears and hyperventilating because I thought for sure I was going to fall and someone would run into me or run me over. People were just flying by me all around! I slide part of the way down on one hill because I was scared. When I thought I had made it to the bottom and the hard stuff was over, we had to go back up to get back over to peak 8 where I would be more comfortable. The way back to peak 8 was just as hard and I was super scared again. My legs were so sore and tired and trying to get down the steep hills were very tough for me. I almost ran over a squirrel on my skis (it ran out in front of me) but I got to go on 3 lifts that I hadn't been on yet, so I got to see more of the mountain. We also skiied down the mountain again and my legs were so tired at this point that I didn't think I could ski another day if I wanted to.
I am proud of myself for learning something new and challenging myself (especially on those intermediate runs). I still need a lot of practice though. I am also proud of myself for not falling while getting on or off the ski lifts. I also overcame some of my fear of heights and got more used to the ski lifts and gondola rides. Next time I need to point my skis more downhill and not get so scared when I go a little fast because I do know how to stop. The scariest thing is when you are going up the ski lift, you realize that you have to get down somehow and that would be by skiing. The longer the ski lift is, the more scared I get when I look at some of the runs. I get very intimidated by the steep runs and hills. I am also proud that I did some tree trails, usually just going around one or a few trees, but at least I had control.
Skiing is an incredible workout. We skiied from about 9:30a to 4:00p with time to eat lunch in between. I had to stop and rest a lot because my legs were sore. I had never felt so tired and so sore than after skiing.
The drive back was long, but I got to sleep and ride as a passenger. I'm so glad that Rance and Leann invited me to go skiing with them and share in their family tradition. I can tell they love skiing and hopefully someday I can be a lot better and keep up with them sometimes. It was so kind of them to include me, help me, and ski with me as I was learning.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Family
I pretty much have the best family in the world. My parents and one of my brothers, Bryan, came down this weekend to visit and to help me do some yardwork. My parents both have a green thumb and I needed help planting flowers and some tomatoes. My Dad came down after working lots of overtime last week because of the storms last weekend, so I know he was tired. He also helped bbq on Saturday too.
I know both my parents and my brother were tired but they helped dig up lots of the old plants that past homeowners before me had planted. It looked horrible. We used 15 bags of topsoil and my Dad tilled the ground and I planted a bunch of flowers and a few tomato plants. The flowers look awesome! It was a lot of work and I couldn't have done it without their help, but at least now I kinda know what I'm doing for the future. I still have to get some mulch but I'm hoping to do that this weekend.
My parents have always been eager to help me, no matter what I need. They have always helped me out financially and still do, especially when they come to visit. I don't see my brothers as often, but they always help out when needed as well.
My Mom and Dad are having their 33rd wedding anniversary this coming up weekend, so I am really happy for them. They have been awesome parents and should take credit for the great job they did raising 3 kids. I love them a lot and am so fortunate that they are my parents.
I know both my parents and my brother were tired but they helped dig up lots of the old plants that past homeowners before me had planted. It looked horrible. We used 15 bags of topsoil and my Dad tilled the ground and I planted a bunch of flowers and a few tomato plants. The flowers look awesome! It was a lot of work and I couldn't have done it without their help, but at least now I kinda know what I'm doing for the future. I still have to get some mulch but I'm hoping to do that this weekend.
My parents have always been eager to help me, no matter what I need. They have always helped me out financially and still do, especially when they come to visit. I don't see my brothers as often, but they always help out when needed as well.
My Mom and Dad are having their 33rd wedding anniversary this coming up weekend, so I am really happy for them. They have been awesome parents and should take credit for the great job they did raising 3 kids. I love them a lot and am so fortunate that they are my parents.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
It's been awhile
Wow, I haven't been on here in forever. It's not like anyone really reads this anyway, but I like to have a record/journal of my thoughts but I hate writing them on paper. So, electronic format works for me. Anywho...
Things are mostly going well, except for one little thing but that's not really something I want to discuss nor share with the world, so I'll keep my business private.
Relationship is good, we hit the big 6 month mark recently. Yes, for some that is no big deal, but for me it is. I usually don't keep guys around for long and I haven't in about 5 or so years. It's great to have a normal relationship with a good guy. We get along, we have lots of fun, and we have enough in common to have things to talk about but at the same time we have our own interests too. I couldn't be happier with the way things are going there.
Work is good, I was really busy for awhile but things have slowed down for a few weeks until mid-June. I taught a class at State Fair CC and let me tell you, that was interesting. Much different than anywhere else I've taught. I really don't think some of those kids really care, although I did have some really good students. I guess I'll see if I'm teaching again in the fall. I'm also teaching Zumba at the Y which is incredibly fun, but I'm having trouble getting people to sign up. If we don't have class this session or next session, I may have to look for other places to teach. All of this keeps me busy during the week, but luckily I usually don't work on weekends. Once in awhile, I will for a few hours on a Saturday if I need to.
I'm playing co-ed softball this summer. We are really bad, but we are getting a lot better with each game. We've definitely improved since our first game and we'll probably start playing good when the season is over! It's fun at least.
The house is coming along nicely, I got new bedroom furniture a few weeks ago. It was expensive but something I've wanted for awhile. My old bedroom furniture is in the guest room, so now guests have a place to sleep besides the air matress and couch. The kitties, especially Bitsy, love scratching the new furniture, but they aren't really allowed in my room much.
Mowing and weed eating are interesting tasks. I can't say that I love either one of them, but they do make the yard look nice. I think I ran over a little snake with the lawn mower the other day and it was gross. I went back to look and it wasn't moving, so either it was sleeping or dead. I'm totally terrified of snakes so I'm scared to go back and look, I hope it's dead.
Some of my family is coming to visit this weekend and hopefully my mom will help me plant some flowers. I would also like to plant a few tomato plants. The front yard will look so much better with flowers, but I need help getting started. Both of my parents have a green thumb, but I surely don't...as least not yet.
I am really excited to go on a vacation this year. I've looked at some various options but I think I'm stuck on Fort Lauderdale. I found one package to fly from Springfield (much more convienient than KC or STL) but we would have to connect in Atlanta then to Fort Lauderdale but 7 nights in a hotel on/by the beach for $400 each, for 2 people. I think that's a bargain and now I really want to go, even if I have to put it on a credit card, it is something I really need to do in the summer. I have to get away from the lake for a bit, besides my parents house. I need a beach!
That's all I can think of right now, I'll post some more interesting updates soon!
Things are mostly going well, except for one little thing but that's not really something I want to discuss nor share with the world, so I'll keep my business private.
Relationship is good, we hit the big 6 month mark recently. Yes, for some that is no big deal, but for me it is. I usually don't keep guys around for long and I haven't in about 5 or so years. It's great to have a normal relationship with a good guy. We get along, we have lots of fun, and we have enough in common to have things to talk about but at the same time we have our own interests too. I couldn't be happier with the way things are going there.
Work is good, I was really busy for awhile but things have slowed down for a few weeks until mid-June. I taught a class at State Fair CC and let me tell you, that was interesting. Much different than anywhere else I've taught. I really don't think some of those kids really care, although I did have some really good students. I guess I'll see if I'm teaching again in the fall. I'm also teaching Zumba at the Y which is incredibly fun, but I'm having trouble getting people to sign up. If we don't have class this session or next session, I may have to look for other places to teach. All of this keeps me busy during the week, but luckily I usually don't work on weekends. Once in awhile, I will for a few hours on a Saturday if I need to.
I'm playing co-ed softball this summer. We are really bad, but we are getting a lot better with each game. We've definitely improved since our first game and we'll probably start playing good when the season is over! It's fun at least.
The house is coming along nicely, I got new bedroom furniture a few weeks ago. It was expensive but something I've wanted for awhile. My old bedroom furniture is in the guest room, so now guests have a place to sleep besides the air matress and couch. The kitties, especially Bitsy, love scratching the new furniture, but they aren't really allowed in my room much.
Mowing and weed eating are interesting tasks. I can't say that I love either one of them, but they do make the yard look nice. I think I ran over a little snake with the lawn mower the other day and it was gross. I went back to look and it wasn't moving, so either it was sleeping or dead. I'm totally terrified of snakes so I'm scared to go back and look, I hope it's dead.
Some of my family is coming to visit this weekend and hopefully my mom will help me plant some flowers. I would also like to plant a few tomato plants. The front yard will look so much better with flowers, but I need help getting started. Both of my parents have a green thumb, but I surely don't...as least not yet.
I am really excited to go on a vacation this year. I've looked at some various options but I think I'm stuck on Fort Lauderdale. I found one package to fly from Springfield (much more convienient than KC or STL) but we would have to connect in Atlanta then to Fort Lauderdale but 7 nights in a hotel on/by the beach for $400 each, for 2 people. I think that's a bargain and now I really want to go, even if I have to put it on a credit card, it is something I really need to do in the summer. I have to get away from the lake for a bit, besides my parents house. I need a beach!
That's all I can think of right now, I'll post some more interesting updates soon!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
So this weekend, Burger and I had to have the fart talk. That's a huge step in a relationship, possibly even bigger than the DTR (determining relationship talk).
We've been hanging out a lot on weekends lately, sometimes almost the entire weekend. I feel as though it's appropriate, as a lady, to hold in my farts until I'm in the bathroom or have an alone moment. But, I'm not always sure if they are going to be loud or not, and it's not very ladylike to let out a loud fart, even in a bathroom (he might hear!) so I just have to hold them in sometimes.
This past weekend, my stomach was hurting so bad from holding my farts in that I finally decided to have the fart talk. Actually, on Saturday, when he left for awhile to go home, I farted so loud that one of the kittens was actually scared. Too much buildup. So on Saturday night, I said, I have something to tell you, basically my stomach is hurting so bad from holding my farts in and I can't do it any longer. I think he was glad we had the fart talk because he's been holding in his farts too. Now my stomach will enjoy some freedom from gas buildup.
Once a few years ago, I asked my doctor if there was some kind of medicine he could give me for excessive farting. I thought that I farted a lot more than most people (except Brandy, she is the biggest farter ever). Then I read something on the internet that said most people fart 10 or more times a day. Wow, that makes me feel better, but where are these people farting at? There is also some special seat you can put on your chair and when you fart it absorbs the smell. I secretly thought about getting one but then everyone would ask what it was and then what is the point really? Sometimes I also fart in my sleep, and once in awhile it's so loud that it kinda wakes me up.
Jessica and I were at a wine tasting a month or so ago with Berger and Michael. We went to the bathroom (after tasting MANY different wines) and some older lady farted in the stall while we were on each side of her in the stalls. I tried to be mature and hold in my laughter (cause that happens sometimes, and I'm sure it's worse when you are old) but Jessica was giggling a little bit and I knew why but I waited til we were outside the bathroom. Then we were both laughing and being immature. I think the wine helped bring out the laughter, but it was funny regardless.
There isn't really a point to this blog, except that I hate holding in my farts, but I feel as though I have to because I'm a woman. But, I guess most guys hold in their farts around women, at least until they get to know them better.
We've been hanging out a lot on weekends lately, sometimes almost the entire weekend. I feel as though it's appropriate, as a lady, to hold in my farts until I'm in the bathroom or have an alone moment. But, I'm not always sure if they are going to be loud or not, and it's not very ladylike to let out a loud fart, even in a bathroom (he might hear!) so I just have to hold them in sometimes.
This past weekend, my stomach was hurting so bad from holding my farts in that I finally decided to have the fart talk. Actually, on Saturday, when he left for awhile to go home, I farted so loud that one of the kittens was actually scared. Too much buildup. So on Saturday night, I said, I have something to tell you, basically my stomach is hurting so bad from holding my farts in and I can't do it any longer. I think he was glad we had the fart talk because he's been holding in his farts too. Now my stomach will enjoy some freedom from gas buildup.
Once a few years ago, I asked my doctor if there was some kind of medicine he could give me for excessive farting. I thought that I farted a lot more than most people (except Brandy, she is the biggest farter ever). Then I read something on the internet that said most people fart 10 or more times a day. Wow, that makes me feel better, but where are these people farting at? There is also some special seat you can put on your chair and when you fart it absorbs the smell. I secretly thought about getting one but then everyone would ask what it was and then what is the point really? Sometimes I also fart in my sleep, and once in awhile it's so loud that it kinda wakes me up.
Jessica and I were at a wine tasting a month or so ago with Berger and Michael. We went to the bathroom (after tasting MANY different wines) and some older lady farted in the stall while we were on each side of her in the stalls. I tried to be mature and hold in my laughter (cause that happens sometimes, and I'm sure it's worse when you are old) but Jessica was giggling a little bit and I knew why but I waited til we were outside the bathroom. Then we were both laughing and being immature. I think the wine helped bring out the laughter, but it was funny regardless.
There isn't really a point to this blog, except that I hate holding in my farts, but I feel as though I have to because I'm a woman. But, I guess most guys hold in their farts around women, at least until they get to know them better.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Update
Just a quick update, nothing too exciting going on lately, here's what happening.
1. Homecoming was a blast, as usual. Heidi wasn't there, but I managed to have a great time. No strip club this year, no winery this year, and no playing the jukebox at Ragsdales this year, but that's ok. It was good time in Cape G.
2. The new winery in Linn Creek is pretty much ok...kinda expensive. The wine tasting at the Country Club Hotel last weekend was awesome, and free! I think I drank too much wine and it gave me drunk Alzheimers.
3. Things are going really well for me. I'm moving into the new house in a few weeks (yay!), the dating arena is awesome, and my job is awesome. I am working 2 nights a week at the Y and it pretty much sucks big time, but I'm giving it some time. Once I start doing more there, it won't be so lame.
4. I am getting 2 new kittens who currently live at my parent's house. Their names are Stanford and Bitsy Von Muffling. I'm not sure if they are boys or girls, but it doesn't matter.
5. I am obsessed with the game Clue. I bought it last weekend for a mere $10. What a bargain!
6. That's all for now, nothing super exciting. I'll update soon!
1. Homecoming was a blast, as usual. Heidi wasn't there, but I managed to have a great time. No strip club this year, no winery this year, and no playing the jukebox at Ragsdales this year, but that's ok. It was good time in Cape G.
2. The new winery in Linn Creek is pretty much ok...kinda expensive. The wine tasting at the Country Club Hotel last weekend was awesome, and free! I think I drank too much wine and it gave me drunk Alzheimers.
3. Things are going really well for me. I'm moving into the new house in a few weeks (yay!), the dating arena is awesome, and my job is awesome. I am working 2 nights a week at the Y and it pretty much sucks big time, but I'm giving it some time. Once I start doing more there, it won't be so lame.
4. I am getting 2 new kittens who currently live at my parent's house. Their names are Stanford and Bitsy Von Muffling. I'm not sure if they are boys or girls, but it doesn't matter.
5. I am obsessed with the game Clue. I bought it last weekend for a mere $10. What a bargain!
6. That's all for now, nothing super exciting. I'll update soon!
Monday, October 6, 2008
More famous sayings by friends or me
1. Good job, blow job.
2. Shut the helicopter door!
3. Please proceed to kiss my ass.
4. Didn't he get the point when I poisoned his drink the last time?
5. Jagerbomb, jagerbomb, asshole!
6. Maybe he hurt his vagina.
7. I miss you like a fat kid misses cake.
8. I miss you like Captain Fuzzy misses his chest razor.
9. Hey Melissa, remember last time when you got gas there?
10. Clark's last name either has to be Griswold or Kent, those are the only choices.
11. You should tell him to put this in his pipe and smoke it.
12. Look, a flying baby with a mustache.
13. Don't forget to roll the dice!
14. At least the girls in Columbia get enough to eat.
15. Is there going to be a plug-in for my fan somewhere close to the tent?
16. Maybe if I stopped drinking beer I would be skinny enough to wear shorts like that.
17. Do you think they make Crocs with velcro straps?
18. His credit card probably just says "Uncle Rico."
19. There was some sweatpants at Kmart that said "true love waits" and the reason it waits is because no one wants to have sex with someone who wears sweatpants from Kmart.
2. Shut the helicopter door!
3. Please proceed to kiss my ass.
4. Didn't he get the point when I poisoned his drink the last time?
5. Jagerbomb, jagerbomb, asshole!
6. Maybe he hurt his vagina.
7. I miss you like a fat kid misses cake.
8. I miss you like Captain Fuzzy misses his chest razor.
9. Hey Melissa, remember last time when you got gas there?
10. Clark's last name either has to be Griswold or Kent, those are the only choices.
11. You should tell him to put this in his pipe and smoke it.
12. Look, a flying baby with a mustache.
13. Don't forget to roll the dice!
14. At least the girls in Columbia get enough to eat.
15. Is there going to be a plug-in for my fan somewhere close to the tent?
16. Maybe if I stopped drinking beer I would be skinny enough to wear shorts like that.
17. Do you think they make Crocs with velcro straps?
18. His credit card probably just says "Uncle Rico."
19. There was some sweatpants at Kmart that said "true love waits" and the reason it waits is because no one wants to have sex with someone who wears sweatpants from Kmart.
Heidi's famous sayings
Here are some of the best sayings by Heidi lately:
1. I'm just going to date really hot guys from now on, because they all end up being assholes anyway.
2. I can give BJs all day and it's not complicated!
3. How many innings in a baseball game? 11?
4. That was fun, Melissa. See I'm serious because I said your name.
5. I think it's because his robot dick malfunctioned.
6. I kissed a girl and I didn't like it.
7. Yeah, I'm pissed off, but it's nothing that 10 beers won't fix.
8. I thought it was Flat Bottom girls, like that's the name of the town they are from.
9. I just do whatever Melissa tells me to do.
10. At least they see a Buick and think it's 2 old ladies driving, little do they know it's two 28 year old girls.
11. Oh great, there are 3 people here and we just pulled up in a Buick listening to Destiny's Child. Let's just go in.
12. I took a crap in every state but Arkansas and I'm not taking a crap there.
13. I am not taking a picture of that bruise, I took one and I seriously thought it was a vagina.
1. I'm just going to date really hot guys from now on, because they all end up being assholes anyway.
2. I can give BJs all day and it's not complicated!
3. How many innings in a baseball game? 11?
4. That was fun, Melissa. See I'm serious because I said your name.
5. I think it's because his robot dick malfunctioned.
6. I kissed a girl and I didn't like it.
7. Yeah, I'm pissed off, but it's nothing that 10 beers won't fix.
8. I thought it was Flat Bottom girls, like that's the name of the town they are from.
9. I just do whatever Melissa tells me to do.
10. At least they see a Buick and think it's 2 old ladies driving, little do they know it's two 28 year old girls.
11. Oh great, there are 3 people here and we just pulled up in a Buick listening to Destiny's Child. Let's just go in.
12. I took a crap in every state but Arkansas and I'm not taking a crap there.
13. I am not taking a picture of that bruise, I took one and I seriously thought it was a vagina.
Highlights from vacation in July
Not sure of the correct spelling...anyway, vacation highlights:
1. Our fridge at the most redneck hotel ever had a beer can holder and the sink had a bottle opener by the Kleenex. The good thing about the Comfort Inn is that you can walk everywhere and they don't care if you steal the luggage cart and drive it around drunk, even to the beach. They do lock the pool at nighttime, which is a good thing because they might have found a sunken luggage cart on Monday morning if not. Another good thing is the relaxing spot behind the pool by the bay where guys who like to wear Crocers or Croafers like to hang out too.
2. Drunk old ladies at the pool are obsessed with us. That's why we had to drink almost all of an 18 pack of Bud Light and a bottle of Malibu the first afternoon. Otherwise I might have drown myself from all the annoying people in Pensacola Beach. One drunk lady told me she was friends with John Mellencamp and that her friend got stung by a jellyfish...I won't mention where, but she told me all the details "What's up girlfriend?!?!" is the favorite phrase of drunk ladies from the pool.
3. Bamboo Willie's is pretty awesome, especially when we meet a guy named Rusty Clark Griswold and he buys us lots of beers and Alabama Slammers. His friend Casty/Ballz Deep will also request Journey to the band. We thought we got kicked out of the bar, but the door guys in Pensacola probably don't care about how stupid we were acting. You can also take your drinks out of the bar and walk around with them, no one even cares. But, it's ok to leave when Bamboo Willie's plays a shitty Jack Johnson cd on a Sunday night. Rusty Clark Griswold also likes to say "Those two are a couple of freaks" and "I'm a morning person" in a dirty South accent.
4. Don't go to McGuires when you are hungover. The smell of bean soup and the dark atmosphere will only make the hangover worse and then you will be forced to stay in bed all day and watch Grandma's Boy 1 1/2 times. "I hate your face." Watching Grandma's Boy is not such a bad thing though, but getting dizzy and sick anytime you move from the pit of despair is not a good thing. The commercial that plays every 5 minutes that makes the tv go crazy sucks too.
5. Everyone is drunk in Pensacola Beach. Some people just sit in their cars in a parking lot and drink beers. Some guys sit around and wait for sober girls who are enjoying their dinner to bother them. Some guys drive around and yell at girls from their trucks. Some go to Dominos while we are eating pizza and are so drunk they can barely walk. Maybe it was a good thing we avoided the beach on Saturday and instead laughed at Grandma's Boy.
6. Affliction shirts and short guys only go to Captain Fun's. You will not find either anywhere else in Pensacola Beach. The older people and rednecks go to Bamboo Willie's, even the Dancing Clapper and the lead singer of REO Speedwagon. Also, Alanis Morisette + REO Speedwagon = Aerosmith.
7. Sandshaker aka Saltshaker is the best bar in Pensacola and it was right next to our hotel. Heidi played Journey one night and everyone in the bar was singing along, it was great. We also met Mike, who gave us his son's phone number and told us that we could come stay at his house and drive his truck and ride his waverunner that goes 60 mph. He also likes Buicks and he loved us. One night we played lots of songs, even Journey like 5x. We also met some 21 yr old hippies and one was rubbing my head forever and wouldn't let me get more than a few inches away. We had to sneak to the bathroom and run out of the bar to get away from him. I had to scare away some gross old guy away from Heidi and he had on velcro shoes. Heidi's anthem at this place was "I kissed a girl, and I didn't like it." Good times at Sandshaker. Also, one night they had a bikini contest and the music was so loud, but we blamed it on our redneck neighbors until Heidi found out the truth.
8. Don't try to push the luggage cart/trolley into the sand. It won't go and you may have a bruise that resembles a vagina on your leg. It's a good idea to take it back so you can use it for its real purpose when you actually put luggage on it and don't try to push it over a curb like Heidi almost did.
9. Is Flat Bottom a real place? I think it is.
10. Gulf Shores has way too many jellyfish. The CEO of Jellyfish, INC was there checking out the situation, but I refuse to get in the water when like 10 jellyfish have been pulled out. No thanks. If you get one, all you have to do is bury it and put a stick in it. Getting a jellyfish tattoo in or around your vagina may or may not be a good idea, but saying "Do you wanna see my jellyfish" is pretty damn funny.
11. We pretty much put the B in Buick. Also, don't assume that because a Buick is going really slow late at night that there are old ladies in there. It might just be a couple of 28 yr old girls listening to Destiny's Child.
12. The touchscreen at Top of the Bay in Alabama is the most pornographic touchscreen ever. If you get the trivia questions right, this gross dude gets naked. The photo hunt was way more nasty than any I've ever seen.
13. The Buick is pretty comfortable even for a 10 hour trip. XM radio will play every Elton John song except Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. But we love when it plays Roxette.
14. Cape is kinda dead on a Tuesday night and the winery is closed. The Crackle/Big Blue Martini is now The Pony, we may have to find out more about that on Homecoming. The same little frat boys hang out in the bars and it reminds me that I'm glad I don't have to deal with that anymore. I kicked ass at Super MarioKart on the Wii though.
15. Arkansas or Mississippi really effed up our phones. They never worked right there and we had missed calls and missed texts because At&t sucks.
16. The bouncy bridge in Memphis makes your car like it has hydrolics, but I wouldn't want to go over it if I was sick.
17. Dick Moore Housing is really the name of a business somewhere along our trip. I hope it's not in the phone book as Moore, Dick.
18. Hellz yeah, hellz no, and roger that are the new best phrases ever.
1. Our fridge at the most redneck hotel ever had a beer can holder and the sink had a bottle opener by the Kleenex. The good thing about the Comfort Inn is that you can walk everywhere and they don't care if you steal the luggage cart and drive it around drunk, even to the beach. They do lock the pool at nighttime, which is a good thing because they might have found a sunken luggage cart on Monday morning if not. Another good thing is the relaxing spot behind the pool by the bay where guys who like to wear Crocers or Croafers like to hang out too.
2. Drunk old ladies at the pool are obsessed with us. That's why we had to drink almost all of an 18 pack of Bud Light and a bottle of Malibu the first afternoon. Otherwise I might have drown myself from all the annoying people in Pensacola Beach. One drunk lady told me she was friends with John Mellencamp and that her friend got stung by a jellyfish...I won't mention where, but she told me all the details "What's up girlfriend?!?!" is the favorite phrase of drunk ladies from the pool.
3. Bamboo Willie's is pretty awesome, especially when we meet a guy named Rusty Clark Griswold and he buys us lots of beers and Alabama Slammers. His friend Casty/Ballz Deep will also request Journey to the band. We thought we got kicked out of the bar, but the door guys in Pensacola probably don't care about how stupid we were acting. You can also take your drinks out of the bar and walk around with them, no one even cares. But, it's ok to leave when Bamboo Willie's plays a shitty Jack Johnson cd on a Sunday night. Rusty Clark Griswold also likes to say "Those two are a couple of freaks" and "I'm a morning person" in a dirty South accent.
4. Don't go to McGuires when you are hungover. The smell of bean soup and the dark atmosphere will only make the hangover worse and then you will be forced to stay in bed all day and watch Grandma's Boy 1 1/2 times. "I hate your face." Watching Grandma's Boy is not such a bad thing though, but getting dizzy and sick anytime you move from the pit of despair is not a good thing. The commercial that plays every 5 minutes that makes the tv go crazy sucks too.
5. Everyone is drunk in Pensacola Beach. Some people just sit in their cars in a parking lot and drink beers. Some guys sit around and wait for sober girls who are enjoying their dinner to bother them. Some guys drive around and yell at girls from their trucks. Some go to Dominos while we are eating pizza and are so drunk they can barely walk. Maybe it was a good thing we avoided the beach on Saturday and instead laughed at Grandma's Boy.
6. Affliction shirts and short guys only go to Captain Fun's. You will not find either anywhere else in Pensacola Beach. The older people and rednecks go to Bamboo Willie's, even the Dancing Clapper and the lead singer of REO Speedwagon. Also, Alanis Morisette + REO Speedwagon = Aerosmith.
7. Sandshaker aka Saltshaker is the best bar in Pensacola and it was right next to our hotel. Heidi played Journey one night and everyone in the bar was singing along, it was great. We also met Mike, who gave us his son's phone number and told us that we could come stay at his house and drive his truck and ride his waverunner that goes 60 mph. He also likes Buicks and he loved us. One night we played lots of songs, even Journey like 5x. We also met some 21 yr old hippies and one was rubbing my head forever and wouldn't let me get more than a few inches away. We had to sneak to the bathroom and run out of the bar to get away from him. I had to scare away some gross old guy away from Heidi and he had on velcro shoes. Heidi's anthem at this place was "I kissed a girl, and I didn't like it." Good times at Sandshaker. Also, one night they had a bikini contest and the music was so loud, but we blamed it on our redneck neighbors until Heidi found out the truth.
8. Don't try to push the luggage cart/trolley into the sand. It won't go and you may have a bruise that resembles a vagina on your leg. It's a good idea to take it back so you can use it for its real purpose when you actually put luggage on it and don't try to push it over a curb like Heidi almost did.
9. Is Flat Bottom a real place? I think it is.
10. Gulf Shores has way too many jellyfish. The CEO of Jellyfish, INC was there checking out the situation, but I refuse to get in the water when like 10 jellyfish have been pulled out. No thanks. If you get one, all you have to do is bury it and put a stick in it. Getting a jellyfish tattoo in or around your vagina may or may not be a good idea, but saying "Do you wanna see my jellyfish" is pretty damn funny.
11. We pretty much put the B in Buick. Also, don't assume that because a Buick is going really slow late at night that there are old ladies in there. It might just be a couple of 28 yr old girls listening to Destiny's Child.
12. The touchscreen at Top of the Bay in Alabama is the most pornographic touchscreen ever. If you get the trivia questions right, this gross dude gets naked. The photo hunt was way more nasty than any I've ever seen.
13. The Buick is pretty comfortable even for a 10 hour trip. XM radio will play every Elton John song except Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. But we love when it plays Roxette.
14. Cape is kinda dead on a Tuesday night and the winery is closed. The Crackle/Big Blue Martini is now The Pony, we may have to find out more about that on Homecoming. The same little frat boys hang out in the bars and it reminds me that I'm glad I don't have to deal with that anymore. I kicked ass at Super MarioKart on the Wii though.
15. Arkansas or Mississippi really effed up our phones. They never worked right there and we had missed calls and missed texts because At&t sucks.
16. The bouncy bridge in Memphis makes your car like it has hydrolics, but I wouldn't want to go over it if I was sick.
17. Dick Moore Housing is really the name of a business somewhere along our trip. I hope it's not in the phone book as Moore, Dick.
18. Hellz yeah, hellz no, and roger that are the new best phrases ever.
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Favorite sayings from this weekend
1. Too bad, we got fireworks!
2. The little signal that we were constantly doing that we can't put into words.
3. No crying, no dying, no being bi.
4. The faces that Jason makes when he's breaking with Jessica on LB.
5. Wait a minute, Heidi (while putting my finger on her nose), be patient.
6. Muscles McGee.
7. The leprachan that said that this might not be the biggest club, but it's the funest.
8. Heidi gave the condom to the security guy.
9. Is that a toliet?, but it really was.
10. Is that a Scout?
11. At least you have Billy. Billy get your ass over here!
12. My finger smells really good.
13. "I'm gonna go find some girl to fuck, yo."
14. Hey Melissa, I have diarrhea, ok bye.
15. Where are you from? St. Louis. Where in St. Louis? Imperial. That's not St. Louis, that's Jefferson County.
16. Who has a Polaroid camera? Is this like 1980?
17. That's probably the best dildo making prison ever.
18. You passed the writing exam? Congratulations, you're not a retard!!
19. We saw Mona from Who's the Boss at party cove.
2. The little signal that we were constantly doing that we can't put into words.
3. No crying, no dying, no being bi.
4. The faces that Jason makes when he's breaking with Jessica on LB.
5. Wait a minute, Heidi (while putting my finger on her nose), be patient.
6. Muscles McGee.
7. The leprachan that said that this might not be the biggest club, but it's the funest.
8. Heidi gave the condom to the security guy.
9. Is that a toliet?, but it really was.
10. Is that a Scout?
11. At least you have Billy. Billy get your ass over here!
12. My finger smells really good.
13. "I'm gonna go find some girl to fuck, yo."
14. Hey Melissa, I have diarrhea, ok bye.
15. Where are you from? St. Louis. Where in St. Louis? Imperial. That's not St. Louis, that's Jefferson County.
16. Who has a Polaroid camera? Is this like 1980?
17. That's probably the best dildo making prison ever.
18. You passed the writing exam? Congratulations, you're not a retard!!
19. We saw Mona from Who's the Boss at party cove.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Funny summer sayings
Ok, I need to compile a list of funny quotes that I use or my friends use this summer. I can refer back to this list and add more, so let me know if you have others.
1. Phil Collins (has many different meanings)
2. I miss you like a fat kid misses cake.
3. I hate that like a fat kid hates vegetables.
4. Where's Tunafun?
5. Jesus? We found Jesus at party cove!
6. Do you like NASCAR? That's nice, well I like orgasms.
7. Where's the inflatable genitalia?
8. Why can't Bonnie (the secretary) operate the phone? Is it not a rotary dial phone?
9. It looks like she got everything from the Punky Brewster and Rainbow Brite yard sale.
10. You need to tell her that Lance Bass wants his boyfriend back.
11. Fug 21
12. Bless you. Thank you. He was already blessed!
13. He's got high hopes (in a singing voice).
14. Where did all of these straws come from?
15. Poke her in the front, lick her in the back.
16. Liquor? But I barely know her.
17. I miss you like a butt misses a lick.
18. Nut-huggers.
19. I've never seen a wheelchair sticker on a pontoon boat. (repeat from last year)
20. You better wipe that up, you are sweating out your $10 drink.
1. Phil Collins (has many different meanings)
2. I miss you like a fat kid misses cake.
3. I hate that like a fat kid hates vegetables.
4. Where's Tunafun?
5. Jesus? We found Jesus at party cove!
6. Do you like NASCAR? That's nice, well I like orgasms.
7. Where's the inflatable genitalia?
8. Why can't Bonnie (the secretary) operate the phone? Is it not a rotary dial phone?
9. It looks like she got everything from the Punky Brewster and Rainbow Brite yard sale.
10. You need to tell her that Lance Bass wants his boyfriend back.
11. Fug 21
12. Bless you. Thank you. He was already blessed!
13. He's got high hopes (in a singing voice).
14. Where did all of these straws come from?
15. Poke her in the front, lick her in the back.
16. Liquor? But I barely know her.
17. I miss you like a butt misses a lick.
18. Nut-huggers.
19. I've never seen a wheelchair sticker on a pontoon boat. (repeat from last year)
20. You better wipe that up, you are sweating out your $10 drink.
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Recent horoscope
Horoscope for June 7, 2007
The Moon, ruler of our emotions, is in Pisces, the sign of being in touch with a good hunch. Non-verbal cues will allow you to quickly assess who is available and who is off limits. Can you trust your judgment to pick a good possible conquest?
The Moon, ruler of our emotions, is in Pisces, the sign of being in touch with a good hunch. Non-verbal cues will allow you to quickly assess who is available and who is off limits. Can you trust your judgment to pick a good possible conquest?
Monday, May 21, 2007
Softball
So I got a chance to play coed softball tonight and I was so excited but sooo nervous. I didn't want to screw up. I played third and actually had 2 good plays there. I got a force out from a grounder and tagged a guy out after a great throw from the outfield. It was sweet. I got a few hits, but my batting needs some work. I missed 2 grounders, so my defense needs some work too, but hey, for not playing in 2 years, I think I did great. Of course my Dad had to ask if I was still pulling it to third and left field because I get too excited and swing early. He used to always yell "Wait on it!" when I played years ago. They invited me back to play again so I hope I can. I could play softball every night of the week and never get sick of it!
Off to Columbia for the rest of the week, then the party starts on Thursday afternoon or evening, yay!!!!!!!!!
Off to Columbia for the rest of the week, then the party starts on Thursday afternoon or evening, yay!!!!!!!!!
Cute new pic
Pic from Saturday at Frankie and Louie's. My hair looks pretty long but my outfit looks like it came out of my dirty laundry, which ironically the shirt did. I hadn't done laundry in awhile because the dryer was broke and I knew I was getting a new one. But that's neither here nor there.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Weekend
What a fun weekend!! Well, the weekend kinda started on Thursday night when Margaret and I hit the Blue Room for 80's night and $2 beers. I am not allowed to have more than 1 jagerbomb ever again because I was a little sick and had to do a little cleaning due to me being sick when I got home. I had to work Friday morning and it sucked bad! I think I was still drunk that morning, so I took it easy on Friday night. 80's night was fun and Margaret was in the top 5 in the dance contest. Pictures below.
Margaret and Jackie met some guys on Friday night and we went out on the boat with them on Saturday, first to Frankie and Louie's. I discovered the best drink of all time and it's good because I don't get as dehydrated. I thought maybe Malibu and water would be good, but I tried and it was love at first sight. I even had a short pretend wedding ceremony where we got married. We then went to Backwater Jack's and Dog Days and I met a lot of fun people. The guys on the boat were super fun and I think everyone had a great time. It was a great day to be out on the water.
The only bad thing is that the new roommate is really stressing me out. He's being really inconsiderate and messy and it's pissing me off. We got into a screaming match on Friday night because he was outside being really loud at 1:30 am. I wasn't sleeping but I was worried that people in the neighborhood would get pissed.
Pictures from Thursday and one from Friday night:
Margaret obviously doesn't want to take anymore pics with me.
Cute pic of Kent and myself.
Margaret was in the dance contest and was moonwalking and doing the Roger Rabbit too.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
How my life is like Sex and the City
Things that happened on Sex and the City that are similar to my life:
1. Once when we were in Florida I met this guy and then a few hours later he was talking to some hootchie mama. So before we left, I threw a drink on him and ran out. This is similar to when Samantha throws the drink on Richard and says "Dirty martini for a dirty bastard." I like her version better.
2. It's quite impossible to always control bodily noises, especially farting. Especially if I've been holding it in for awhile. So sometimes, it accidently happens in the morning and if someone is in bed with me, that's embarassing. But I just play it off like, oh well. Carrie did that once in bed with Mr. Big and the sound was haunting her for days, then he put a whoopee cushion on her chair after that.
3. My favorite word to say if a toliet isn't working is "ballcock." I guess there really is a part called that, but I just like to say it. When Aiden fixes Carrie's toliet, after they broke up, she said, "The last word we say to each other can't be ballcock."
4. Women have to occasionally pluck hairs in areas where we should not have them, believe it or not. If you don't, then you are lucky. I'm probably the only person to admit it. It seems like the same ones come back in the same exact places, like I have a dark hair by my bellybutton that remerges itself sometimes. That's similar to when Samantha finds a gray hair "down there" and says she can't pluck it because 6 more will come to it's funeral!
5. Heidi and I went to Soulard Market once so I could find a fake Coach or Louis Vuitton bag. I found a Coach bag but now I hate it so I hid it in my closet. Carrie and Samantha go to buy a fake Fendi bag in some guy's trunk when they are visiting L.A.
6. I once asked out a guy who had a girlfriend, because I thought he was showing a little interest in me. This is very similar to the episode where Carrie asks out Berger, but he has a girlfriend. I know how she felt.
7. In a little story that I would like to forget, a guy once told me he didn't want to date me anymore....via text message. Wow. This is similar to when Berger broke up with Carrie....via post-it. That was a funny episode, especially at the end where Carrie says, today is not the day I got dumped by a post-it, it's the day I got arrested for smokin' a doobie!
8. When I was in college once, my roommate got food from KFC and it smelled so good. After she left for night class, the KFC container was in the trash on the very top and there was an entire chicken strip and some fries in there that were untouched. Of course, I ate them! This reminds me of when Miranda makes the chocolate cake and then throws it away and then eats it out of the trash. She then calls Carrie and tells her this and that she might need this info when checking Miranda into the Betty Crocker clinic.
9. There is a Chinese restaurant by my office that I absolutely love. Sometimes I will eat there twice in one week. I know it's not the most healthy, but the chicken is sauteed and it has lots of veggies, so it's better than a lot of things I could eat. I don't even have to tell the girl what I want anymore, she already knows what I order. Miranda orders take-out from this one Chinese restaurant so often that the girl knows her complete order and then giggles, which pisses Miranda off.
10. Sometimes guys like to do things in the bedroom that kinda surprise me. Not necessarily a bad thing though. I won't go into details, but it's kind of like the episode where Miranda is hooking up with a guy she met while training for a marathon and they hook up after a run one day. The girls ask her how it was and she says, it's was good, but he kind of licked my butt!
11. When we up at Mardi Gras in STL, it was way too cold to show our boobs during the parade. However, after the parade we were in Heidi's car and were driving down this road next to a float full of people and they were yelling. I rolled down the window and flashed them and they started throwing hella beads at us. It was great. There is an episode where the girls are at the Fleet Week Ball and Carrie sees everyone's boobs in that episode.
12. I hate when guys have body hair, especially on their back. In the episode where the girls go to the wedding in the Hamptons, Charlotte makes her date Harry wax his back. Only it turns out to be bright red and gross.
One thing they should have included in that show is an episode where someone gets their panties stolen by a guy who has a weird panty fetish. That would be another similarity with my life.
1. Once when we were in Florida I met this guy and then a few hours later he was talking to some hootchie mama. So before we left, I threw a drink on him and ran out. This is similar to when Samantha throws the drink on Richard and says "Dirty martini for a dirty bastard." I like her version better.
2. It's quite impossible to always control bodily noises, especially farting. Especially if I've been holding it in for awhile. So sometimes, it accidently happens in the morning and if someone is in bed with me, that's embarassing. But I just play it off like, oh well. Carrie did that once in bed with Mr. Big and the sound was haunting her for days, then he put a whoopee cushion on her chair after that.
3. My favorite word to say if a toliet isn't working is "ballcock." I guess there really is a part called that, but I just like to say it. When Aiden fixes Carrie's toliet, after they broke up, she said, "The last word we say to each other can't be ballcock."
4. Women have to occasionally pluck hairs in areas where we should not have them, believe it or not. If you don't, then you are lucky. I'm probably the only person to admit it. It seems like the same ones come back in the same exact places, like I have a dark hair by my bellybutton that remerges itself sometimes. That's similar to when Samantha finds a gray hair "down there" and says she can't pluck it because 6 more will come to it's funeral!
5. Heidi and I went to Soulard Market once so I could find a fake Coach or Louis Vuitton bag. I found a Coach bag but now I hate it so I hid it in my closet. Carrie and Samantha go to buy a fake Fendi bag in some guy's trunk when they are visiting L.A.
6. I once asked out a guy who had a girlfriend, because I thought he was showing a little interest in me. This is very similar to the episode where Carrie asks out Berger, but he has a girlfriend. I know how she felt.
7. In a little story that I would like to forget, a guy once told me he didn't want to date me anymore....via text message. Wow. This is similar to when Berger broke up with Carrie....via post-it. That was a funny episode, especially at the end where Carrie says, today is not the day I got dumped by a post-it, it's the day I got arrested for smokin' a doobie!
8. When I was in college once, my roommate got food from KFC and it smelled so good. After she left for night class, the KFC container was in the trash on the very top and there was an entire chicken strip and some fries in there that were untouched. Of course, I ate them! This reminds me of when Miranda makes the chocolate cake and then throws it away and then eats it out of the trash. She then calls Carrie and tells her this and that she might need this info when checking Miranda into the Betty Crocker clinic.
9. There is a Chinese restaurant by my office that I absolutely love. Sometimes I will eat there twice in one week. I know it's not the most healthy, but the chicken is sauteed and it has lots of veggies, so it's better than a lot of things I could eat. I don't even have to tell the girl what I want anymore, she already knows what I order. Miranda orders take-out from this one Chinese restaurant so often that the girl knows her complete order and then giggles, which pisses Miranda off.
10. Sometimes guys like to do things in the bedroom that kinda surprise me. Not necessarily a bad thing though. I won't go into details, but it's kind of like the episode where Miranda is hooking up with a guy she met while training for a marathon and they hook up after a run one day. The girls ask her how it was and she says, it's was good, but he kind of licked my butt!
11. When we up at Mardi Gras in STL, it was way too cold to show our boobs during the parade. However, after the parade we were in Heidi's car and were driving down this road next to a float full of people and they were yelling. I rolled down the window and flashed them and they started throwing hella beads at us. It was great. There is an episode where the girls are at the Fleet Week Ball and Carrie sees everyone's boobs in that episode.
12. I hate when guys have body hair, especially on their back. In the episode where the girls go to the wedding in the Hamptons, Charlotte makes her date Harry wax his back. Only it turns out to be bright red and gross.
One thing they should have included in that show is an episode where someone gets their panties stolen by a guy who has a weird panty fetish. That would be another similarity with my life.
Dallas memories, March 07
irst off, I was laughing so hard at lunch that I cried some at Heidi's comment about Lik-m-aid which is usually known as Fun Dip.
Second, when I was little I put some salt stuff on the roof of my parents car and the vinyl top turned from brown to bright orange. I can't remember much of the details but I don't remember getting in trouble for it so I think my parents either never knew it was me or they just didn't say anything. Heidi and I were discussing how our Mom's had to drive cars that sucked and that always broke down. I was always embarassed of our cars, but how fun would it be if we would have had nice cars?
Third, the bartender at Mantis (Mantus), which is where we hung out tonight and last night, was obsessed with us. Which of course would make sense because we are the most awesomest girls of all time.
Fourth, the DART, which stands for Dallas Area Rapid Transit (I asked some guys last night because I had to know what DART stood for ), is the best invention of all time. Except when the crazy lady touched my hand and also touched Heidi's arm with her dirty old lady soft skin and it was really gross. Also, someone crapped their pants on the DART and it smelled so bad and I asked Heidi if she did it and then I said I didn't so we didn't know where it came from. And, someone was playing loud music even though the sign clearly said "No loud music."
Fifth, Bagels on Heidi and Melissa is awesome. Pictures later.
Sixth, we hate everyone at O Bar, including the guy who tried to steal our cab and I gave him a dirty look.
Seventh, why do people in Dallas eat lunch at like 2 pm? At noon, there was no one at the restaurant but at 2 pm it was packed!!!!!!! Eat lunch at a normal time!!!
Eighth, I wanted to punch the lady who was hogging the jukebox at Silhouettes and then when we played Elton John and even paid extra to have it played first, when it came on, her comment was "Surely I didn't play this?" No, bitch, because you played Goldigger and Gorillaz and some other nasty bullshit that we didn't know. We thought we might trick her when we played Bon Jovi but we should have known that she would love it.
Ninth, Blimpie in the Plaza thing via Skywalk is never open. WTF?? We went there yesterday and today at lunchtime and it wasn't open.
Tenth, the most douchebag fraternity of all time is having their gay formal at the hotel tonight and they are pissing us off. Heidi almost kicked some guy's ass because he thought he was being funny and touched her ass sorta and then she kinda went ape-shizz on him. If he would have touched her, my ape-shizz would have came out and it would have been really embarassing for him. This is why I'm glad I'm out of college and don't have to deal with fraternity guys thinking they are super cool only because they are in a fraternity.
Second, when I was little I put some salt stuff on the roof of my parents car and the vinyl top turned from brown to bright orange. I can't remember much of the details but I don't remember getting in trouble for it so I think my parents either never knew it was me or they just didn't say anything. Heidi and I were discussing how our Mom's had to drive cars that sucked and that always broke down. I was always embarassed of our cars, but how fun would it be if we would have had nice cars?
Third, the bartender at Mantis (Mantus), which is where we hung out tonight and last night, was obsessed with us. Which of course would make sense because we are the most awesomest girls of all time.
Fourth, the DART, which stands for Dallas Area Rapid Transit (I asked some guys last night because I had to know what DART stood for ), is the best invention of all time. Except when the crazy lady touched my hand and also touched Heidi's arm with her dirty old lady soft skin and it was really gross. Also, someone crapped their pants on the DART and it smelled so bad and I asked Heidi if she did it and then I said I didn't so we didn't know where it came from. And, someone was playing loud music even though the sign clearly said "No loud music."
Fifth, Bagels on Heidi and Melissa is awesome. Pictures later.
Sixth, we hate everyone at O Bar, including the guy who tried to steal our cab and I gave him a dirty look.
Seventh, why do people in Dallas eat lunch at like 2 pm? At noon, there was no one at the restaurant but at 2 pm it was packed!!!!!!! Eat lunch at a normal time!!!
Eighth, I wanted to punch the lady who was hogging the jukebox at Silhouettes and then when we played Elton John and even paid extra to have it played first, when it came on, her comment was "Surely I didn't play this?" No, bitch, because you played Goldigger and Gorillaz and some other nasty bullshit that we didn't know. We thought we might trick her when we played Bon Jovi but we should have known that she would love it.
Ninth, Blimpie in the Plaza thing via Skywalk is never open. WTF?? We went there yesterday and today at lunchtime and it wasn't open.
Tenth, the most douchebag fraternity of all time is having their gay formal at the hotel tonight and they are pissing us off. Heidi almost kicked some guy's ass because he thought he was being funny and touched her ass sorta and then she kinda went ape-shizz on him. If he would have touched her, my ape-shizz would have came out and it would have been really embarassing for him. This is why I'm glad I'm out of college and don't have to deal with fraternity guys thinking they are super cool only because they are in a fraternity.
Dear alcohol
Dear Alcohol.. First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. My best friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect stress reliever, a cooldown on a hot summer day, and warmth in the cold winter months. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:
1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call certain douchebags when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night? Same goes with messages on myspace and text messages, please stop me.
2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that Heidi and I eat 3 orders of cheese fries, 10 White Castle burgers, and 1 order of cheese sticks? Or if it's just me, why do I need a Mexican pizza and Nachos Bell Grande? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time.
3. Clumsiness: I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down and bang my elbows and knees on anything in sight. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Making my way to the bathroom seems to be hard to do sometimes too when I'm trapped in my closet.
4. Losing things. I lost my awesome feather boa (Leroy), my favorite cooler cup, some of my dignity and self-respect....and that's just in 1 night. I'm glad you helped me keep track of my phone and camera though, thank you for that.
5. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is completely unacceptable! My entire day is shot. Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately.I will look for an answer no later than Friday on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.
I love you,
Melissa
1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call certain douchebags when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night? Same goes with messages on myspace and text messages, please stop me.
2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that Heidi and I eat 3 orders of cheese fries, 10 White Castle burgers, and 1 order of cheese sticks? Or if it's just me, why do I need a Mexican pizza and Nachos Bell Grande? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time.
3. Clumsiness: I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down and bang my elbows and knees on anything in sight. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Making my way to the bathroom seems to be hard to do sometimes too when I'm trapped in my closet.
4. Losing things. I lost my awesome feather boa (Leroy), my favorite cooler cup, some of my dignity and self-respect....and that's just in 1 night. I'm glad you helped me keep track of my phone and camera though, thank you for that.
5. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is completely unacceptable! My entire day is shot. Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately.I will look for an answer no later than Friday on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.
I love you,
Melissa
Fav memories of 2006
Top ten favorite memories of 2006
10. Father's Day weekend - this was also my little brother's 21st bday, but he's not quite the partier so we just went to dinner. My family means a lot to me and I really do enjoy spending time with them.
9. Mardi Gras pub crawl in February - Amy brought blinky cups for me and I decided to sell them for $10 each for beer money. I made about $90 and spent it all on alcohol at the bars that night. Everyone kept asking where we got them. Amy wasn't feeling well and after Brian and Scott were talking about clam chowder and farting, she puked down the side of the car. It was disgusting when we looked the next morning and they drove back to STL with the car like that.
8. Halloween weekend - We hit Frankie and Louie's for the $1 drinks and food day. I am not sure how many drinks I had (at least 7-8, but maybe more?) and a little food, our bar tab was only $60. We left there and got ready and went to the Blue Room. It's too bad my memory of that evening is pretty weak, but I know it was fun. I was supposed to be a mummy, but everyone kept thinking I was a priest or the Pope or something. All I know is that I was wasted when I went to bed and had to get up really early to go to the Chiefs game that day. We tailgated before the game and the first beer was really tough to get down, but then I was drinking away and got a little drunk at the game. The game was a lot of fun and I'm glad we went.
7. 4th of July weekend - any summer holiday weekend is fun and this weekend was no different. We did the usual party cove stuff, but this time there was some drama. Two of Jon's friends who were a couple, broke up and that was causing problems. The guy I was seeing and I got into it because I kissed some other guy at party cove, oopsie. I was pissed at him so I threw all of his stuff outside and let me tell you, that is a fun thing to do. I highly recommend trying it sometime. He then went over to Jon's, which pissed me off, so I went over there and yelled for awhile to get him to leave. The guys at party cove who did the boob washes were great, that was classic. That's all I really remember from that weekend, but I know it was a good one.
6.Labor Day weekend - I remember this better because it was at the end of the summer. The last big party before fall hits. This was when we hung out with the Wichita crew on their houseboat at party cove. The next houseboat over had a dance contest on their stage and pole they made, so that was interesting. Margaret should have won just for helping grease up the pole. I'm glad her and her gang rented the boat to come out there because I had a lot more fun with them there. Jen was out there with some of her girl friends too. Max had a little encounter with the coast guard and water patrol and had to spend a short amount of time in jail. Oops. Sunday night at the Blue Room was great because almost all of us were there and it wasn't crowded otherwise. Great way to end the summer.
5. Memorial weekend - this weekend started out with me getting so drunk before everyone went to Topsider that I left early and went to my place and passed out. After the bars, I guess everyone decided to party at my place while I was downstairs passed out. I had no idea until the next morning. We had a great time at party cove on Saturday with all the girls there, the usual suspects (Ryan, Jason, Jon, Josh, Craig, etc), and Justin's friends from Colorado. Jen was also there with her girl friends. That's all I remember from that weekend, sorry!
4. Visiting Amanda in Alabama - Amanda is one of my best friends and I only get to see her about twice a year. I went down to her neck of the woods this summer. I met a lot of her friends from Alabama, went out on her friend's boat into the ocean and saw a lot of beautiful wildlife and water that I had never seen before (including jellyfish), and spent some relaxing time at the beach. People in Alabama are a little behind when it comes to music, because all they listen to is Sweet Home Alabama (just kidding Amanda). I was the only person at her local bar who knew Crazy Bitch and this was in July! We had fun having our own dance party at the bar in Gulf Shores too and eating at Waffle House at 3 am.
3. Shootout weekend - my first trip to Big Dick's happened and my hair was totally screwed up from riding 70 mph in a boat all the way there. This is when I met Christian (thanks for letting me wear your apron in the nude), Greg, Carrie, and Brian (all Jon's friends). They were so much fun. This was the night of the text msg war (it's your Mom's) and the time that someone (I won't say who) decided not to wear clothes home from Shooters. The stereo contest on Friday night was so much fun, I won't be missing that next year. I wore the captain's hat to the Blue Room and Topsider and everyone was being my friend. This year I want a pirate's hat to wear. Some friends from college were in town and they couldn't believe how crazy I've become. That's me...
2. My birthday - Heidi came to visit me (in the yellow stretch nuts car) and that made the weekend awesome. Ryan, some girl, Heidi, Margaret, and I went to the Blue Room (after us girls talking about stretch nuts for an extended period of time). Some other people were there that night too, including Casey, the hottest guy ever from the gym. He also likes Cheyenne, but him and his friend went swimming with us following the bars. Saturday we hit party cove and it was ok, but I felt sick from the combination of too much alcohol, Redi Whip, and food. That night we went to Dog Days to see Disco Dick but I was too busy tripping over my heels getting stuck in the floorboards. That was the night we created the signal and once again went swimming when we got home. Jen's friend was wearing my "pee shoes" and he wouldn't take them off. On Sunday, Heidi and I discovered a new show - Instant Beauty Pageant - and watched that for hours after pigging out on Culvers. Double bacon butterburger anyone?
1. Homecoming - of course anytime with Heidi is fun, but including our old stomping grounds makes the time even better. After drinking big beers at El Torrero, we hit the nightlife of Cape G. The first place wasn't so great so we hit Ragsdales. It hasn't changed a bit, which is great. After a big beer, 2 chocolate martinis, and numerous Mich Ultras, I still wasn't drunk! Finally it all hit me at once and we saw some guys I knew from high school. They tricked us into coming over by telling us they were having a party. Yeah right! Luckily, A-hole made the Pike sober ride (I guess he paid him) give us a ride home. The drinking began about 8 am on Saturday with mudslides and donuts and then to the Playdium and parade. Phil "Rowdy" Collins was in the parade. We sang and danced at the Playdium (after my minor puking episode behind the Playdium) and didn't want to leave! After watching the football game for awhile, Wendy's was calling our name. We ate way too much, napped, then got ready to hit the bars again. After a night downtown, we made our way to Hushpuppy for some stripperific fun. The fattest stripper ever was there....and another strippers chest smelled like shaving cream. New words and phrases were made this weekend including schwent, osha, barturtle, turtletender, and not now!
That's my rundown of my fav memories of 2006. I probably left some parts out because almost every one of those involves alcohol. Anyone have anything they would like to add????
10. Father's Day weekend - this was also my little brother's 21st bday, but he's not quite the partier so we just went to dinner. My family means a lot to me and I really do enjoy spending time with them.
9. Mardi Gras pub crawl in February - Amy brought blinky cups for me and I decided to sell them for $10 each for beer money. I made about $90 and spent it all on alcohol at the bars that night. Everyone kept asking where we got them. Amy wasn't feeling well and after Brian and Scott were talking about clam chowder and farting, she puked down the side of the car. It was disgusting when we looked the next morning and they drove back to STL with the car like that.
8. Halloween weekend - We hit Frankie and Louie's for the $1 drinks and food day. I am not sure how many drinks I had (at least 7-8, but maybe more?) and a little food, our bar tab was only $60. We left there and got ready and went to the Blue Room. It's too bad my memory of that evening is pretty weak, but I know it was fun. I was supposed to be a mummy, but everyone kept thinking I was a priest or the Pope or something. All I know is that I was wasted when I went to bed and had to get up really early to go to the Chiefs game that day. We tailgated before the game and the first beer was really tough to get down, but then I was drinking away and got a little drunk at the game. The game was a lot of fun and I'm glad we went.
7. 4th of July weekend - any summer holiday weekend is fun and this weekend was no different. We did the usual party cove stuff, but this time there was some drama. Two of Jon's friends who were a couple, broke up and that was causing problems. The guy I was seeing and I got into it because I kissed some other guy at party cove, oopsie. I was pissed at him so I threw all of his stuff outside and let me tell you, that is a fun thing to do. I highly recommend trying it sometime. He then went over to Jon's, which pissed me off, so I went over there and yelled for awhile to get him to leave. The guys at party cove who did the boob washes were great, that was classic. That's all I really remember from that weekend, but I know it was a good one.
6.Labor Day weekend - I remember this better because it was at the end of the summer. The last big party before fall hits. This was when we hung out with the Wichita crew on their houseboat at party cove. The next houseboat over had a dance contest on their stage and pole they made, so that was interesting. Margaret should have won just for helping grease up the pole. I'm glad her and her gang rented the boat to come out there because I had a lot more fun with them there. Jen was out there with some of her girl friends too. Max had a little encounter with the coast guard and water patrol and had to spend a short amount of time in jail. Oops. Sunday night at the Blue Room was great because almost all of us were there and it wasn't crowded otherwise. Great way to end the summer.
5. Memorial weekend - this weekend started out with me getting so drunk before everyone went to Topsider that I left early and went to my place and passed out. After the bars, I guess everyone decided to party at my place while I was downstairs passed out. I had no idea until the next morning. We had a great time at party cove on Saturday with all the girls there, the usual suspects (Ryan, Jason, Jon, Josh, Craig, etc), and Justin's friends from Colorado. Jen was also there with her girl friends. That's all I remember from that weekend, sorry!
4. Visiting Amanda in Alabama - Amanda is one of my best friends and I only get to see her about twice a year. I went down to her neck of the woods this summer. I met a lot of her friends from Alabama, went out on her friend's boat into the ocean and saw a lot of beautiful wildlife and water that I had never seen before (including jellyfish), and spent some relaxing time at the beach. People in Alabama are a little behind when it comes to music, because all they listen to is Sweet Home Alabama (just kidding Amanda). I was the only person at her local bar who knew Crazy Bitch and this was in July! We had fun having our own dance party at the bar in Gulf Shores too and eating at Waffle House at 3 am.
3. Shootout weekend - my first trip to Big Dick's happened and my hair was totally screwed up from riding 70 mph in a boat all the way there. This is when I met Christian (thanks for letting me wear your apron in the nude), Greg, Carrie, and Brian (all Jon's friends). They were so much fun. This was the night of the text msg war (it's your Mom's) and the time that someone (I won't say who) decided not to wear clothes home from Shooters. The stereo contest on Friday night was so much fun, I won't be missing that next year. I wore the captain's hat to the Blue Room and Topsider and everyone was being my friend. This year I want a pirate's hat to wear. Some friends from college were in town and they couldn't believe how crazy I've become. That's me...
2. My birthday - Heidi came to visit me (in the yellow stretch nuts car) and that made the weekend awesome. Ryan, some girl, Heidi, Margaret, and I went to the Blue Room (after us girls talking about stretch nuts for an extended period of time). Some other people were there that night too, including Casey, the hottest guy ever from the gym. He also likes Cheyenne, but him and his friend went swimming with us following the bars. Saturday we hit party cove and it was ok, but I felt sick from the combination of too much alcohol, Redi Whip, and food. That night we went to Dog Days to see Disco Dick but I was too busy tripping over my heels getting stuck in the floorboards. That was the night we created the signal and once again went swimming when we got home. Jen's friend was wearing my "pee shoes" and he wouldn't take them off. On Sunday, Heidi and I discovered a new show - Instant Beauty Pageant - and watched that for hours after pigging out on Culvers. Double bacon butterburger anyone?
1. Homecoming - of course anytime with Heidi is fun, but including our old stomping grounds makes the time even better. After drinking big beers at El Torrero, we hit the nightlife of Cape G. The first place wasn't so great so we hit Ragsdales. It hasn't changed a bit, which is great. After a big beer, 2 chocolate martinis, and numerous Mich Ultras, I still wasn't drunk! Finally it all hit me at once and we saw some guys I knew from high school. They tricked us into coming over by telling us they were having a party. Yeah right! Luckily, A-hole made the Pike sober ride (I guess he paid him) give us a ride home. The drinking began about 8 am on Saturday with mudslides and donuts and then to the Playdium and parade. Phil "Rowdy" Collins was in the parade. We sang and danced at the Playdium (after my minor puking episode behind the Playdium) and didn't want to leave! After watching the football game for awhile, Wendy's was calling our name. We ate way too much, napped, then got ready to hit the bars again. After a night downtown, we made our way to Hushpuppy for some stripperific fun. The fattest stripper ever was there....and another strippers chest smelled like shaving cream. New words and phrases were made this weekend including schwent, osha, barturtle, turtletender, and not now!
That's my rundown of my fav memories of 2006. I probably left some parts out because almost every one of those involves alcohol. Anyone have anything they would like to add????
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)